Sunday, February 20, 2011

Down with Literally!

I dislike the word “literally.”

This wasn’t always the case. I used to look at such a word with fondness, knowing that when I wanted to be clear about something I could always turn to such a word. Yet such times are now past and I only look at this word with scorn and disgust. It started with a misuse of the term by many public speakers: “It literally covered the United States,” “he literally exploded with joy,” “I am literally going to go crazy if I hear that word again.” I understand that many are just ignorant or not thoughtful and I should not punish a word for others’ mistakes but a distance began to grow between “literally” and myself. I’m not alone in this rant; Kurt Anderson (author and radio host) has expressed a similar sentiment.

Now I have noticed that people are using the word correctly but in abundance. “He literally got up and ran.” “She literally fell out of her seat.” “They were literally speechless.” Yes, these are all correct, but not necessary. Why not just say, he got up and ran, she fell out of her seat, etc.? Do we think that people will not believe us unless we speak to the empirical realist epistemology that so many people practice? Do I need to use this word to express exactly what I am doing? And what does this say about our speech the rest of the time? I guess if I don’t hear the word “literally” I should not believe the content of what the person is saying. I probably should assume that everyone is speaking in metaphor. It is an overused, misused word that has become a scourge of or common parlance.

So down with the word “literally.” Strike it from your lexicon. Cast it out from your jargon. Wipe it from the annuals of your mind. If I hear this word again, I will go mad…literally!

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Maybe a Modest Proposal

I get a weekly posting from the Baptist Joint Committee for Religious Liberty and saw in the most recent one that Representative Peter King from New York, soon to be chair of the Homeland Security Committee, plans to hold hearings on the “radicalization” of American Muslims. Before considering this approach, let’s put Islam aside (which is not a violent religion, and 80% of Islamic leaders are not radical clerics – it have written it, it is on the internet, so it must be true).

Put aside the very scary throwback to McCarthy and his march to rid the country of “Reds,” Commies, and all others who threaten the heart of America (didn’t he end up looking like a fool?).

Put aside the similarity to the fear people had when the openly Catholic Al Smith and later John F. Kennedy ran for president. Everyone was so sure that they would be pawns under the control of the Pope.

Put aside the danger of singling out one group of people and making them a scapegoat of our fear – we won’t try to make the connection to Germany and the Third Reich. I don’t want to pay that card.

Let’s also try not to make the connection to our treatment towards Native Americans calling all of them “savages” and only trusting those who are “westernized.”

Instead, I would like to encourage Representative King to continue with his plan and then to look into radical Protestants. There are many who preach about going against the government, about ignoring the prevailing culture, and sometimes a radical socialism (gasp!). He should also look into those who talk about a radical protection of human life except if it is someone who is doing someone you don’t like, or if you are over one hour out of the womb. After all, if a kid commits a crime he should do the time including death. I hope King looks into the Jewish and Christian community that is pro Palestine because it is run by what is considered a terrorist community. He should also look into those who are pro Israel, because how can they have complete allegiance to the United States and also be radically in favor of another nation? I hope King looks into the Quakers who try to embrace the simplistic life – it is obviously just a ruse to avoid paying taxes like many other radical, separatist groups have done in the past. I won’t say anything about different ethnicities, classes, and states – there just isn’t enough room to list all of the problems with each.

I want to applaud Representative King for doing the hard and difficult work to rid one religion of the extremists on their behalf. I don’t know how he has the time to study Islam, to learn about Islam in America, to do all of the data collection that he needs to do and gather all of the important data so he doesn’t just rely on the word of a number of Enforcement Officials, but he must. I hope he can do the same with all of the other groups that he surly intends to look into.

Tonight I will sleep soundly knowing that King has done the hard work of ridding the United States of all extremists and radicals, of anyone who openly totes a gun, who is mistrusting of the government, and who follows a holy book with a radical devotion over our sacred and blessed Constitution. Bravo Representative King, bravo.